Life..

Ain't life just beautiful?
well hell no
it never is..
it never goes according to plan
Unexpected things happen
unforeseen circumstances
Maybe there are glimmers of hope
A single Ray of light
but the clouds take control after that
I hate this...
-------

Scissors, Paper, Stone?

Interesting...
Dinner turned into a long walk round the neighborhood
and i nv really explored mine...
Met at Ktb Mrt
Walked Over to Nypizza
Ate...
we Decided to take a walk
towards Yishun Stadium
across the park
Back alley past flora and farm
nee soon camp, Sembawang rd
Mandai, upper thomson
Yishun Avenue 1
The Reservoir walk
back across the road
Ktb Mrt
Completed a figure 8
Bao Bao Cha...
Home
total time spent
3 hours plus
Distance covered
several Kilometers
Foot Sore now... haha
all unplanned...
spontaneous
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I miss A A P
havent talked in ages
maybe tomorrow?
i hope so...

One More day

Okay... Exams are the SH*T
i mean not what i expected..
so screwed...
Well at least i got maths...
i hope...
d-_-||b
i'm confused
We are just friends
nothing more
Why does everybody think somethings up
ugh
irritating
-----
It's nothing...
Right?

Tired

Tired..
Well I think i am screwed for my Exams
dunno how i am gonna do..
Damn Over Achiever
Hmm..
And My Class Guys are getting stupid
i hate it...
i need time off..
i need time alone
just after my hols too..

Time & Time Again

Class Chalet Was Not All Bad
Its was better than Expected.
there were 5 guitars there including mine
it was fun when the whole gang was there..
then when people started to leave
leaving a few people..
few Couples.
and that feeling just sucks
feeling alone again.
i did not know what to do..
i definitely did not know what to say
I think i may have been a little stupid.
I'm sorry G
i don't know what i was doing.
Maybe i need to stop thinking so much..
i hate what i am..
i hate what i'm becoming.
i got to change..
now..

Thinking

You know...
i think about stuff when i am alone.
and i am alone very often..
so i think a lot..
Money and friendship should never cross paths..
cuz when they do the relationship becomes strained.
this is speaking from Experience.
Bros for one thing..
but.. you also gotta give me some self assurance
Thats the point in time when things start to devolve
and spiral into an endless loop of misplaced trust and Betrayal.
i never brought this matter up...
cuz i usually am not strapped for cash...
but it got me thinking... what if i did?
will i get it back?
though these are things that i do not want to think about...
it creeps into my head and very often... ah well...
-----------------------
I miss my friends
its been so long.
well today i get to see them
class chalet.
wonder how many will turn up..
wonder what the atmosphere will be like..
cuz from past experiences..
it has definitely not been pleasant
not one bit at all...
Maybe things will be different..
maybe people change..
Whats that old saying again?
A leopard Never Changes its Spots

Finally

Finally i finished my blog.
self made skin...
i love photoshop....
Musics Up too...
yay...
-------------
Okay i really really honestly need to get studying
i did like crap for mock paper...
so screwed...
i think for mid year i am gonna do badly..
not good... my reps on the line...
especially since i have been such an over achiever...
yeah.. i gotta get studying hard... very hard...
--------------
I miss you...
when will i see you again

Interesting

I think i resemble house from Medical Drama Series House
I hate to be wrong..
will want to prove myself right sometimes even hurting people around me in the process
but inevitably i still care for them..
though i seem more likely to show it than house.
i damned well think i am god..
and its bitten me in the rear one too many times
but that doesn't change me...
it fuels me..
I Hate to be wrong.
I definitely hate it...
cant take it...
die hard over achiever many would say
but what do i care?
there ain't no way any Tom Dick or Harry's gonna beat me..
no way... no how..
even if i dun study i got minimum requirements for myself
I think i am an over achiever who puts in below nominal efforts..
but what can i say??
even when i dun, i seem to be doing honestly better than most..
well this is MI. competition isn't really anyones forte..
I gotta mention.. when Jeff and David entered the scene..
That gave me some form of challenge...
well its unfortunate that the rest of my classmates... well...
i honestly think...
they gotta be more like me..
perfectionist when it comes to grades..
happy with a BBB?
hell no...
Nothing Lower Than AAA
and you guys should really stop thinking of me as an overachiever..
at least i know where i wanna go..
do any of you?
and what efforts have you guys been putting in...
and i honestly say... there is talent amongst us
they just gotta focus a hell lot more...
Ah well...
We'll see as time goes along...

Wandering Minds

i think i let my mind wander too much..
hmm...
is it me or have my recent post been a little reflective..
i dunno
what do i want in life?
its a big mystery
i miss school..
though there are people i wish would just die..
if you think you are one of those then by god what did you do to me?
i have taken a laid back perspective on life and its not helping me...
especially since i am taking my A's this year
What am i doing?
i am wasting my time blogging in the middle of the nite
not sleeping and during the day?
games
damn i honestly think i need to wake up..
but thats a bit difficult considering the times i am sleeping..
i love drinking..
no idea why but its there and i do it so bugger off...
hmm if anyone is going call me..
be it beer or liquor...
i dun really care...
and if its at dxo thats double the reason too...
love that place...
arg... what am i doing...
losing my mind...

Honestly... i dunno what to post.
many things have been running through my mind...
i guess i dunno where i belong...
what is my purpose...
people keep telling me that i will make it one day..
that i will achieve great things
will i?
i am a nobody...
i am in MI for gods sake
is it my place to judge what i can achieve?
cuz society is in control ultimately
I lack the necessary drive to accomplish anything
Or maybe its my die hard nature to just want to outdo everybody
honestly..
sometimes i feel i am held back..
the need not to make my friends feel stupid
the need to have friends in the first place.
i put others before me.
too nice a guy?
sometimes even they annoy me.
maybe i am finally showing my true colours...
but what are my true colours?
who am i?
what am i supposed to be?
i dun even know
and thats saying a lot about a guys mental stability.
if anyone has the answers to these questions..
then i gotta question for you..
what gave you the right to judge me?
society?
or just cause you think you have perfect life?
you know what position i am in?
do any of you really know?
can any of you really tell?
they say experience tells a lot..
but isnt every experience unique?
you think that different backgrounds..
constitutes different treatment
i honestly say i am tired
tired of being the butt of jokes..
tired of being the joke..
i dun want to lash out
that never helped me in the past..
but now i think i am left with no choice
you think you know me???
i swear to you...
none of you really do..

What Could Be

11th of june.
leong's bdae
had a hell of a time
i am sure he did too
made new friends too
Luth, Di, cheryl.
cool peepz..
Of course we will frequent that place
i mean...
good music
good drinks
good company
-------
i miss it already..
a single moment..
I'm not Crazy
I'm just a little unwell
Stay a while and maybe then you'll see
a different side of me...
--------
you definitely saw a diff side of me...

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
On a moment
That's hanged to your own

And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway
You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be

And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me
And throw me away

And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid

And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

They can't tell me who to be
Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies thatI'll never believe

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

I'm the one now
Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here